Relaxed body language

Relaxed body language

A relaxed body generally lacks tension. Muscles are relaxed and loose. Movement is fluid and the person seems happy or unconcerned overall.

Relaxed body

Torso

The torso may sag slightly to one side (but not be held there by irregular tension). It may also be well-balanced, with the shoulders balanced above the pelvis. It does not curl up with fear, though it may curl up in a restful pose.

Shoulders are not tensed up and generally hang loosely down.

Breathing

Breathing is steady and slower. This may make the voice a little lower than usual.

Color

The color of the skin is generally normal, being neither reddened by anger or embarrassment, nor pale with fear. There are no unusual patches, for example on the neck or cheeks.

Relaxed limbs

Relaxed limbs hang loosely. They do not twitch and seldom cross one another, unless as a position of comfort.

Arms

Tense arms are rigid and may be held close to the body. They may move in suddenly, a staccato manner. Relaxed arms either hang loosely or move smoothly.

If arms cross one another, they hand loosely. Any crossing, of course can indicate some tension. Folding arms may just be comfortable.

Hands

When we are anxious, we often use our hands to touch ourselves, hold ourselves or otherwise show tension. Relaxed hands hang loose or are used to enhance what we are saying. They are generally open and may shape ideas in the air. Gestures are open and gentle, not sudden nor tense.

Legs

Legs when sitting may sit gently on the floor or may be casually flung out. They may move in time to music, with tapping toes. They may be crossed, but are not wound around one another.

Note that legs can be a particular sign of hidden tension when the person is controlling the upper body and arms. When they are sitting at a table, what you see may be relaxed, but the legs may be held tense and wrapped.

Relaxed head

There are major signs of a relaxed person in their face.

Mouth

The person may smile gently or broadly without any signs of grimacing. Otherwise the mouth is relatively still.

When talking, the mouth opens moderately, neither with small movements nor large movement. The voice sounds relaxed without unusually high pitch and without sudden changes in pitch or speed.

Eyes

The eyes smile with the mouth, particularly in the little creases at the side of the eyes.

A relaxed gaze will look directly at another person without staring, and with little blinking. The eyes are generally dry.

Eyebrows are stable or may move with speech. They do not frown.

Other areas

Other muscles in the face are generally relaxed The forehead is a major indicator and lines only appear in gentle expression. The sides of the face are not drawn back.

When the head moves, it is smoothly and in time with relaxed talk or other expression.

Source: http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/

Ready body language

Ready body language

A significant cluster of body movements are all about being ready for something.

Language of readiness

A ready body is poised for action.

Pointing

Any part of the body may be pointing at where the person is thinking about. This may be another person or the door. This may be as subtle as a foot or as obvious as the whole body leaning. Eyes may also repeated flash over in the intended direction.

Tension

The body is tensed up and ready for action. If sitting, hands may hold onto armrests in readiness to get up. Legs are tensed ready to lift the body. Things in the hand are gripped. Attention is away from everything except the intended direction.

Hooking

The hands may slightly hook clothing, in particular with thumbs hooked into the waistband. This is like a not-quite putting of hands in pockets, indicating the person is relaxed but ready to move quickly.

Movement

Where there is movement, it is in preparation for further movement. Legs uncross. Hands grab bags, straighten clothing, and so on. The whole body leans in the intended direction.

Reasons for readiness

There can be several reasons for a ready body language.

Leaving

The person may want to leave. Perhaps they have another appointment. Perhaps they are uncomfortable with the situation and just want to get out of there.

Ready to buy

When a person is ready to buy, then they may send readiness signals. They point at the thing they want to buy or the contract that needs selling.

Continuing conversation

Readiness may also be to talk more. When you are talking and they show readiness signals, maybe they just want to say something.

Ready to fight

When a person sees a real or verbal fight coming up, they put their body in a position where they can move quickly, either to attack or to defend.

Source: http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/

Power body language

Power body language

Power is often expressed in communication as a combination of strength and humanity. This is very attractive and is a form of Hurt and Rescue.
Greeting
Handshake

As the other person approaches, move to left side, extend your arm horizontally, palm down (be first to do this). Grab their palm firmly, pull them in and hold their elbow with your left hand.

The horizontal arm is an unmissable signal. Palm on top is being dominant, putting yourself on top. Holding the elbow further controls them.

The royal handshake is outstretched arm to keep the other at their distance. A limp hand, palm down, stops them doing a power shake.
Touching

Touching is power symbol. Touching people can be threatening, and is used by leaders to demonstrate power.

The handshake is, of course, a touch, and can lead to further touching, such as the elbow grip and patting shoulders and back.

Guide people with a palm in the small of the back. Greet them with a hand on the back. Touch them on the elbow or other 'safe' areas.
Speaking
Talking

Talk with confidence and use the body beat in time with assertions. Beat with a finger, a palm or even a fist (which is rather aggressive). Emphasize and exaggerate your points.

Use silences too. Pause in the middle of speaking and look around at everyone. If you are not interrupted they are probably respecting your power. Stand confidently without speaking. Look around, gazing into people's eyes for slightly longer than usual.
Emoting

It is powerful to show that you have emotion, but in the right place only. It shows you are human. At other times it emphasizes how you are in control. A neat trick is to bite the lower lip, as it shows both emotion and control (Bill Clinton did it 15 times in 2 minutes during the Monica Lewinsky 'confession').
And...
Walking

Walk with exaggerated swinging of arms, palm down and out. Kink elbows outwards, making the body seem wider. Add a slight swagger.

When walking with others, be in front of them. When going through doors, if you are going to an audience, go first. If you are going from an audience, go last (guiding others through shows dominance).
Position

Generally be higher. Sit on a higher chair. Stand over people. Wear heels. Drive a higher car.

Source: http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/

Open body language

Open body language


A significant cluster of body movements are all about being open. This is sometimes misinterpreted solely as indicating being relaxed and untense.

Remember that perhaps the most significant part of being open or close is the act of opening or closing. When you open or close, you are signaling a change in the way you are thinking or feeling, which is likely to be in response to what the other person has said or done.

Language of openness

The open stance has arms and legs not crossed in any way. They may also be moving in various ways.

Arms open

Arms are not crossed and may be animated and moving in synchronization with what is being said or held wide.

Palms are also relaxed and may be quite expressive, for example appearing to hold things and form more detailed shapes. Open hands show that nothing is being concealed.

Legs open

Open legs are not crossed. Often they are parallel. They may even be stretched apart.

The feet are of interest in open legs and may point forward or to the side or at something or someone of interest.

Looking around and at the other person

The head may be directed solely towards the other person or may be looking around. Eye contact is likely to be relaxed and prolonged.

Relaxed clothing

Clothing is likely to hang loosely and actions to loosen clothing may take place, such as removing a jacket and unbuttoning a collar.

Reasons for opening

There can be several reasons for open body language. In particular look for the transition when the body opens and the triggers that may have caused this change.

Accepting

When arms rounded and palms are sideways, the person may be offering a 'mock hug', showing that they care for the other person. Gestures may be slower and symbolize gentleness.

Passive threat

An open posture may also be associated with a passive threat. When the person casually 'exposes themself', for example by opening their body and looking away they are opening themselves for attack. When this is relaxed, it may be saying 'I am so powerful and you are so weak, you are unable to attack me even when I am exposed.'

Males with knees apart are also doing a crotch display, which, as well as casually exposing vulnerabilities is effectively says to other males 'Look: I have a large penis than you!'

Aggression

When there is tension in the open body, especially if fists are clenched, then this may be a sign of significant aggression. The person is effectively holding their body open in readiness for a fight.

Aggression is also seen when the body is square on to the other person and is relatively close to them. Movements may be particularly sudden and designed to test the other person's reactions.

Supplicating

When palms are held upwards, this may form a pleading gesture and may be combined with lowering of the body. This is saying 'Please don't hurt me'.

Opening the body in supplication is also saying 'Here, you can hurt me if you wish' and is equivalent to a dog who rolls over on its back and exposes itself to indicate that it is not a threat.

Relaxing

And finally, the open body may simply be the body at rest, relaxed and comfortable.

Source: http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/